A Distant Recollection
by spiritmind675
Summary: Used to be 'Memories'. FINALLY BACK UP! Jomy's feeling stressed from his job as Soldier, and misses Blue. Will it help when he's taken back to a memory Blue wants him to relive? Mentioned BluexJomy, don't like, don't read.


**A/N: Yay! I've got this up! ...Again! Hopefully it _stays_ up this time-I think it will, I'm fairly happy with it now. n.n So yeah, It may be a bit confusing but I hope you enjoy! Mentioned BluexJomy, so again-don't like, please leave.**

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Jomy glanced over Leo's shoulder, reading the screens, and sighed.

"_Something wrong Soldier?"_ Leo asked, glancing back.

Jomy avoided his friend's eyes, "No."

"_Are you-?"_

"I'm sure." he interrupted, then smiled, "Thanks though."

Leo nodded,_ "No problem."_ then turned back to the monitor in front of him.

Jomy watched him for a moment, then stood, "Since everything appears in order, I'll be in my quarters if anyone needs me." he said, wanting to get away.

"_'Alright"'_ Leo answered distractedly.

Jomy briskly walked towards the Blue Room - _his_ room, he remembered - returning the greetings he received along the way.

Upon reaching his destination, he sprawled across the bed, crossing his arms and burying his face in them. There was always so much to _do._ Maybe he _wasn't_ cut out to lead everyone after all. Maybe it was just him wanting to be like Blue, futile though that may be. He may be their leader, but he was no Soldier Blue, nor would he ever be.

Sighing, he absently fingered the headphones Blue had left him. One of Jomy's favorite past times was studying the last Soldier's memories. He had already relived most of the other male's past. It fascinated him to see what the former Mu leader knew and had experienced. In a way he also secretly hoped that it would give him advice on exactly how to lead the Mu. Not to mention the solace he took in them. He drew strength from the ever present thought of Terra, saddened that Blue would not be present when that goal was reached.

Suddenly a thought struck him...he'd never bothered to see what Blue's more 'recent' thoughts contained. He hadn't wanted to. It was still too soon to witness something too recent, and he didn't think he could handle it. Now that he'd thought of it, though...

Curious, Jomy raised his head, wondering what Blue's last memory could've been. Resting his chin on his hands, Jomy closed his eyes, accessing the last thoughts of Soldier Blue.

_Darkness._

_Jomy was surprised when he saw nothing. Every time he'd ventured in to a recollection there was sound, color, and smells._

_Confused he opened his eyes and found himself still in the Blue Room, __though he was no longer on the bed. Instead, Blue was sitting on the bed, and he, Jomy, was standing about a foot away._

_"Soldier Blue...?" emerald eyes widened,_ 'He can't be alive...'_ he thought, though the proof was clear._

_He lowered his head. As much as the blonde wished otherwise, Blue had left him to care for the Mu, and never returned. It was bad enough he'd been a cause in Blue's death, he didn't want to deal with this delusion too..._

_"Hello Jomy." the blonde jumped when the other male spoke, and looked up to find him smiling slightly. "You're probably confused, and that's understandable." he continued softly._

_Jomy nodded. "Well yeah, what's-?"_

_"Allow me to explain." Blue interrupted quietly, "You see, if you're here, I'm most likely gone..." _

_The blonde blinked rapidly to dismiss tears that came without warning._

_Blue smiled comfortingly. "This is specifically for you Jomy. I didn't think it was fair to leave you without doing this, especially when I didn't want to leave you at all."_

_Jomy tilted his head, puzzled, he knew that, and it had always made his heart ache more to recall that._

_"It was so simple really." Blue began, capturing the blonde's attention, "I have you stay with the Mu, and go in your place to fight." ruby orbs never left his face, "Everything works out, you live on, lead our people, and they're safe for the time being. Though, truth be told," Blue's expression saddened, "I didn't care too much for that plan. But sacrifices were necessary..."_

_Jomy watched the other intently, he'd always avoided this topic when he could...though he considered it another reason to fight, to make up for having a hand in the loss of Soldier Blue, it was something that had plagued him. He recovered only when he took strength from the thoughts of Blue. Sharing his confidence, Jomy willed himself to take his place._

_"But, there's something I want you to see, something I think you need to know..."_

_Before he could question the other male any further, everything went white. Jomy blinked, and found himself in a different memory. But this one too was odd...For in the memories, Jomy had always been like an outsider, looking in. But this time, he found himself walking towards the Blue Room._

_**He was nervous, tried to turn around, but found he couldn't, and when he tried to speak to those few people he passed, his lips refused to move. And as a faint panic set in, he realized his nervousness wasn't entirely his own, but belonged to the memory. He could only wait and see what would pass, and fell back in his mind to watch, not being able to leave or fight it in any way.**_

_**The blonde entered the Blue Room, hesitating at the door until someone called to him, "Please, come in Jomy."**_

_**Looking up emerald eyes locked with ruby ones, and Jomy forced himself to step closer to the white haired male sitting on the bed, "You wanted to see me?" he mumbled.**_

_**Catching his tone Blue smiled reassuringly, "Yes, I've got something I wanted to talk to you about."**_

_**When he didn't elaborate further Jomy asked, "And that would be...?" **_

_**"About how you're doing as Soldier, reasons I don't want to leave." he answered simply with a shrug, still smiling.**_

_**The blonde paled, and averted his eyes, "I-I'm sorry I haven't done well enough-" he began only to be cut off.**_

_**"Haven't done well enough?" Blue repeated, raising one eyebrow, "Why would you think that?"**_

_**"I-I haven't and-" once more the blonde was cut off as Blue spoke.**_

_**"You need guidance, that much is true, but you've grown in to your role quite well. Much better than I hoped you would, but..." Blue took a deep breath, "You insist on shouldering blame when it's not needed." he frowned.**_

_**After a moment's silence the blonde realized the other was waiting for him to speak, "I disagree." he started, voice just above a whisper, "Many things have occurred since you...chose me, things I might of been able to stop if...if I'd..." as he struggled to find words Blue spoke once more.**_

_**"Done things differently? 'Better'? Hadn't gone back home?" the white haired male shook his head, smiling bitterly, "Jomy you've done your best, and like it or not you can't change the past...No one on this ship, not even you, can keep me out of harm. In just a few days time I'll be out to stop the humans from destroying us all. My time will come eventually." his expression softened, "And if it comes when I face the Meggido, you'll still be Soldier, and I'll still be proud of what you've done."**_

_**Jomy adverted his gaze, "It's not enough, you're just saying that. You may have made a mistake in choosing me..." he said softly, ignoring the fact the other male may not return from his mission. Ignored the slight, desperate anger that the other had made him promise to stay and watch over the Mu.**_

_**"Not enough? Jomy, you're taking them to Terra! You're making our dream possible!" he stood, "I wouldn't have chosen you if I thought you'd be incapable of the responsibility. Though you're still a child yourself you've stepped up to the task marvelously. You've opened so many doors, those children-"**_

_**"Children?" Jomy interrupted, emerald eyes widening, "You saw what happened to them!**_

_**"Ah yes, they grew up rather quickly." Blue arched an eyebrow, "What of it?"**_

_**"I took away their chance to grow up normally!" the blonde snapped, "They're being trained as an attack force, fighting when they shouldn't of had to!" he slumped slightly, "They're not-"**_

_**"Has any one of them ever complained to you? Showed the slightest sign of holding a grudge against you for this?" Blue demanded, eyes flashing slightly**_

_**"No, but-"**_

_**"But nothing Jomy! They chose to grow, to mature, so they could help you! Because they knew they were needed." the white haired male's tone gentled, he rested his hands on the blonde's shoulder's, "Please Jomy, let go of the blame you place on yourself without need, let go of the grief you carry."**_

_**Jomy opened his mouth to answer, only to be robbed of his ability to speak as a wave of warmth washed over him. It was filled with gratitude, pride, and something the blonde recognized but was unable to place.**_

_**The feeling-Jomy realized it was a thought from Blue-ebbed away, leaving a lingering sense of peace.**_

_**"Jomy?" Blue tilted the blonde's face upward with a finger, "Please?" he squeezed the other's shoulder lightly.**_

_**"Can I...?" there was a slight doubt that made Jomy believe he couldn't escape what he'd caused so easily.**_

**_"The question is not 'can I?' But __will __you__?" "the white haired male leaned closer as the blonde still seemed unsure, "You've done nothing that deserves such pain. And the small things that trouble you are forgiven." _**

_**Though he hesitated, Jomy was relieved. If the Soldier thought so, if he forgave him, then perhaps he could let it go, "...I see." he said softly, then smiled.**_

_**Blue relaxed, smiling happily, "Excellent." he moved his hand back to Jomy's shoulder.**_

_**"Thank you." the blonde breathed, voice laced with gratitude.**_

**_The Soldier__ only shook his head, "Of course. Though if you recall, I have another reason for asking you to coming here..." ruby eyes stared expectantly at the blonde._**

_**Jomy tilted his head, "Oh, right." his brow creased slightly, "You don't want to leave...?"**_

_**"You." Blue smiled wryly, then added, "Or the other's, my people, but you Jomy...There's always been something about you..." Jomy caught brief flashes of times when Blue had helped and watched him, some he'd seen before, some that were new. Only now there was more to the calculation than merely checking the blonde's capabilities.**_

_**"Something...that made you chose me?" he tried timidly, knowing that wasn't right, aware that it was part of a different subject completely.**_

**_"Yes." he answered,__chuckling lowly, "But also something else..." when Jomy raised an eyebrow he approached the topic another way, "You never were the best at completely shielding your thoughts. I've always been able to find out what you hid from others. How you've felt about things...people." _**

**_Silence hung in the air and Jomy's heart skipped a beat,_ 'He _knew_?'**

_**"Yes, I know." he lightly corrected the blonde "And the way I see it, it's not fair that I know how you feel, and deny you the same right." A soft smile curling his lips he reached out, holding the blonde's face with one hand.**_

_**The thoughts that came from Blue finally cleared. Past the admiration and pride, was something Jomy couldn't recall being so much as hinted at, though he'd hoped for it.**_

_**Studying him intently, Blue leaned closer, "I love you Jomy." he murmured, lips brushing lightly over the blonde's, "And I always will." Jomy found himself pulled in to a tight embrace.**_

_**Joy danced in his heart, and the blonde returned the hug, pressing closer, "I love you too." he answered softly. He looked up and Blue's lips claimed his own, he closed his eyes, and felt a lingering tingle when he pulled away.**_

_**"Always Jomy..."**_

_Blinking he found himself pulled back in to the first recollection, Blue smiling tenderly, "I wanted to you to know just how important you are to me, and that I believe in you." He stood as though preparing to leave, "Remember that Jomy." As he turned to go he said over his shoulder, "I know you'll take care of them."_

Emerald eyes opened slowly and the blonde felt something wet on his cheeks, and realized it was tears.

Jomy smiled, laying his head down once more, letting the drops of moisture fall. He had his answer, _he_ was Blue's final thought, and memory or not, the experience was soothing, reassuring. Something he'd needed without even realizing it.

"Still watching out eh?" he murmured, amused.

_"Always..." _the word breezed by.

And that was all he needed.

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**A/N: Okay, I get it, this is like _way_ confusing. Let me try to explain: The first memory is just Blue telling Jomy he needs to see something, the second-in bold-is what he wanted him to recall. It's a memory from before the Meggido attack, which is also confusing so lets switch to that for a moment-I think that Blue was able to say this cause after he woke up the first time(when Keith escaped) he stayed awake, waiting for the attack that he knew Keith would bring back.**

**So, since there's a bit of time before that happens, he decides to tell Jomy some very important things before he goes. Namely that he loves him and is proud and knows he is capable of being Soldier. And the whole Blue knowing about the kids thing...*sighs* This is really more AU-ish than I thought it would be. Please just go with it, you get the idea right? Right...I hope. **

**Then the third memory-just back to italics again-is simply Blue repeating what the message of memory number two was. It's just an idea that came to me and took forever to get right but I hope you guys liked it.**

**Please leave a review! And if you still don't quite get it(totally understandable btw, sorry!) then feel free to ask questions.**


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